I am glad that that is your response; I thought initially that leaving it open was better but people keep asking for more (which is so immensely fulfilling for the record!) and so maybe I will write my version after all.
I think your critiques are right on, especially the stimuli thing --- there's more of them in the beginning because that's the part I revised more. ^^;; But even there it's a tendency I have toward the cinematic, which while it isn't always bad can get to be a real problem over a long span of text. You're right to call it out, so thank you.
I do have a pretty detailed explanation of what's going on with Team Rocket and why Ghetsis is cooperating, but I'm going to hold on to them for if/when I actually write more. I think that since right now their policy is strikes wiht no survivors, there's not a lot of information about them around, and so the reader and the protagonists are both in the dark; of course Looker knows more, and so Cynthia knows more, and so there's more that could have been said. And, in a couple of places, should be.
Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you liked it, and I appreciate the detailed commentary. :)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-11-04 03:54 am (UTC)I think your critiques are right on, especially the stimuli thing --- there's more of them in the beginning because that's the part I revised more. ^^;; But even there it's a tendency I have toward the cinematic, which while it isn't always bad can get to be a real problem over a long span of text. You're right to call it out, so thank you.
I do have a pretty detailed explanation of what's going on with Team Rocket and why Ghetsis is cooperating, but I'm going to hold on to them for if/when I actually write more. I think that since right now their policy is strikes wiht no survivors, there's not a lot of information about them around, and so the reader and the protagonists are both in the dark; of course Looker knows more, and so Cynthia knows more, and so there's more that could have been said. And, in a couple of places, should be.
Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you liked it, and I appreciate the detailed commentary. :)